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Incompetent Stepmother
This is from last week. Today is Friday the 13th and we are now also out of rice, pasta and name-brand frozen pizza. Next week doesn’t have the time change or the other stuff, but I’m not looking forward to it. This COVID19 panic is getting all real n’ shit. We have been trying not to talk about it around Ethan because he can get a bit anxious and we don’t want him to worry. He knows the basics but he honestly doesn’t seem that interested. He’s seven. He has other things to think about. This morning, I was trying to rush him out to the car so I could…
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Wicked Stepmother
Ethan (seven) has been having a little trouble at school. He’s bright and motivated and his teachers love him. He has lots of friends. AND (I’m deliberately not saying “but”) he has really big feelings. He gets frustrated when something happens out of the usual order and he doesn’t feel prepared, for instance. We (both our family unit and the family unit of his mother’s and stepfather’s house) have always made sure he knows that it is okay to cry. We set the example; we show our emotions and encourage him to check in with and express his own. Unfortunately, some of his fellow classmates (you couldn’t hear it but…
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Chicken Tenders
The other night, we were having roast chicken for dinner. Matt went back to carve off some seconds. Ethan (age 7): Dad, are you cutting the off the chicken’s “tenders”? (“Tenders” is his word for the male genitalia, which he learned from the Kung Fu Panda Movies). Matt: Chickens don’t have “tenders”. Ethan: I eat chicken tenders all the time! Me (putting my hands in the air to make the “time out” gesture): Wait… wait… wait… this whole time you have been eating chicken tenders, you thought they were a chicken’s “tenders”? Ethan: Ye-ah! (Said in two syllables, like “Du-uh!”) Oy Vey. I blame Jack Black.
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Stepparent of the Year?
This is the kind of stepparent I am: Last summer, we went to a wedding for one of Matt’s cousins. Ethan, then six, looked dashing in his suit. We accepted that he would play in it and get it dirty, so there was only one problem: the clip on tie. Apparently the metal of the clip was touching his neck and irritating him. We made it as comfortable as possible but it’s not like we could loosen it. After the pictures were taken, I got an idea. I told him, “you know, if you clipped it to your back buckle loop, it wouldn’t touch your skin. And it would look…
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Suburban Jungle
Ok guys, gotta warn you before you read on: there is grossness ahead! (Gross as in dead rats… nothing pervy.) We had a rough week for the wildlife in and around the house. Don’t panic; Wensley is fine! But we’ve had some other issues. It started with the rats, actually. I love backyard birding, but feeders attract rodents. That’s been an issue ever since I first moved in to the house and invested in my feeders. I don’t mind the squirrels, which I realize is basically a form of rodent racism. But they are cute and rats are not. So the squirrels can stay. The rats have to fuck off.…
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AlpenGLOW
Our little family joined up with friends at an Airbnb in Colorado last weekend. We decided to leave our cold mountain and go to a higher colder mountain to celebrate President’s Day because who doesn’t love a long car ride to go to someplace similar but worse? Actually, I can’t explain why. We are mountain people and it was a different mountain. We went. We looked at it. We sledded down a part of it. And we explored some of it’s microbreweries while the children sampled the mac-n-cheese each establishment had to offer. Mountain people stuff. You just have to trust me, it was fun. Monday morning, I got up…
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Christmas Bites
At some point in the week, a truck (I assume?) came through the neighborhood and collected the discarded Christmas trees. I didn’t see it happen. One day I saw the trees lying in the gutter, a corpse in front of every home, and I thought of the Monte Python line, “bring out your dead!” Then the next afternoon they were gone. One final Christmas magic trick. My holidays were a whirlwind. As a new step parent, I am learning that Christmas with a child is much more fun, but so much more work! It is possible that we over-do it. The kids don’t need the dozens of elaborate recipes executed…
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The Tiny Professor
Matt found this package of colorful cauliflower in Ethan’s backpack when he came home from school. “What is this? A snack you are saving?” he asked. “No, no! I can’t eat that! It’s for my research!” Ethan is six. “You mean it’s for homework?” I asked. “What are you supposed to do with it.” “No, not homework,” he said. “I’m researching them.” We were stumped. “What are you researching?” Matt asked. “I want to know how they grew like that, that’s all.” We put the package in the fridge after that. I’m not sure what experiment he has planned but it’s the best excuse a 1st grader has used to…
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Deck the Howls
This is how I decorate for Halloween: This is how my neighbors decorate: To be honest, they are in a different neighborhood but I couldn’t think of a word for someone else that lives in your city but not on your block. Citymate? Neighboring-neighbor? I dunno. But I think of them as the owners of the Halloween House and I have to go by to see what they have come up with every year. (I’ve blogged about them a time or two before.) I think this is my favorite so far; they have really outdone themselves. One of these days I need to stop when someone is in the yard.…
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Upgrade
The boys didn’t think my arrangement was all that “spooky,” so I added a raven and a severed limb. It is so fun to decorate now that there is a little one around. But if I’m being honest, it’s really for me. Ethan just wants the candy.