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Low Altitude Turbulence
Yesterday, I ran an errand on my lunch break. I walked out of a store in Sugarhouse (a neighborhood here in Salt Lake City) and stopped short. Right in front of the sliding glass doors of the Nordstrom Rack, the chassis of a Honda Pilot was balanced on a large boulder with three of the SUV’s wheels off the ground. I stared at it for a beat, trying to understand what I was looking at. I must have just missed the cool stunt, because I could hear the man in the driver’s seat (way up in the air!) talking to roadside assistance. Because, for real. No getting out of that…
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Riding it Out
Last week was rough. By Thursday, 6pm, I was in a crisp white hotel bed eating nachos I ordered from the bar, trying to cry without actually crying. My eyes stung. My nerves had split ends. My heart was overwrought and had that hot and heavy feeling, like a partially burned baked potato with a knife in the middle and butter bleeding out. The nachos were amazing – the best I can remember – but did nothing to fill the void. I checked the clock. Fifteen more hours before my flight home. I reached for another cheesy chip with my thumb and index finger, which were caked in guac and…
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Witches Brew: Repost
I just learned a historical fact that blew my mind. Matt is reading a book on the dark ages right now, and he told me that there is a paragraph describing that from ancient times, beer was made almost exclusively by women. But in the 1500s, men decided that they wanted to take over beer making as careers and set about putting the brewers known as “alewives” out of business. So they called them witches and drove them out beer making. Here is a video that shows how the details we associate with witches, such as brooms and cats, directly came from the legacy of the alewives. So interesting! Makes…
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A Prayer to the Kiln Gods
Dearest Kiln Gods, Oyez, oyez, oyez! I am a person having business before thou, oh honorable though oft merciless deities. I draw near to ask for thy attention, oh Wrathful Ones, to beg for thy protection, even as I know I am undeserving of thy charity. I tremble before this alter to proclaim a sacrifice was made in thy honor, oh great Scary Beasties of the Furnace of Stoneware. It was not made intentionally, I do confess. But it was given and it’s destruction did make me wretched. Please, please, oh Fiery Gods of Loam and Ash, I ask thou to accept this sacrifice to thy glory. And in doing,…
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Here’s to You, Birthday Blues
When I married into a Chinese family, I learned that the number four is very unlucky. I thought it was maybe just my in-laws, or maybe it was just a Cantonese thing, but it wasn’t. I learned this one day when I wrote a check (it was the 90s, we still did that back then) at my local Chinese restaurant (Chop Suey Louie’s) and the guy almost didn’t take it because it was check number 444. The problem is that the Chinese word for “four” is a homophone for the word for “death.” I wrote a death death death check. I’ve been thinking about this because I just had my…
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Working Gals
A few years ago, I was dining alone in a nice restaurant in Irvine that had a cool hipster name like Figs & Branches or Peas & Bacon. I don’t know what it was. I was traveling for work (remember traveling? remember restaurants? *sigh*) and my boss recommended the spot. I got their early in the evening and had no trouble getting a table for one, but by the time I was finishing my meal the waiting area was packed with hungry foodies. Suddenly, three Indian women appeared at my table. One confidently sat down and the other two hovered for a moment, watching my face for my reaction. The…
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Hit Me with Your Best Shot
I think I wrote a few months back that I participated in the Pfizer COVID-19 study. If not, surprise! That was me! (And 29,999 other people.) I was “unblinded” last week and learned that I received the placebo. Good thing that I told myself to pretend I KNEW I got the placebo all along! The researchers brought me in for a shot of the real stuff yesterday, which was very nice of them. While I was sitting in the clinic waiting for my dose to thaw I got a breaking news alert that the US officially passed 500k deaths. It was a surreal moment, taking that in while in the…
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The Gatekeepers
I was in the 7th grade, sitting in class, when I heard my name called out over the intercom, directing me to go to the counselor’s office. I probably went either white or red, I don’t know. I just remember being paralytically shy in those years, and I remember the horror of having this attention directed toward me. The school counselor, Mr. Larsen, asked me to sit down in his office and he got straight to the point. “I called you down because you made an error on your class registration form for next year. You signed up for shop instead of home-ec. Here, I just need you to fix…
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Breaking Tradition
I love Christmas. I love Christmas so freaking much. It surprises people because I am loudly atheist and I guess that seems like a big disconnect. I don’t notice because I always forget that Christmas is about Jesus. I get excited about finding memorable gifts and knitting scarves and baking pies. I had to make a rule that I couldn’t start Christmas shopping until after Labor Day (a rule I have frequently broken in the past) but to make up for it I am allowed to MAKE gifts all year round. (Not pies, obviously.) The sad this is that I love Christmas so much I usually ruin it. I realized…
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When You Get a Divorce…
But the rest of the sticker still applies!