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Crafters vs COVID
I really didn’t want to write about COVID19. I know it’s impossible to escape right now. But honestly, it is all I think about. Maybe in another week or two this will just be my new life and I’ll be back to worrying about things other than how quickly my household is going through toilet paper. Because I am lucky enough to have a job, my health, and family, this is an example of how the virus is affecting me: Last week, I got an email from work which, at first glance, appeared to indicate that I had made a large mistake. Before I could register what I was reading…
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Incompetent Stepmother
This is from last week. Today is Friday the 13th and we are now also out of rice, pasta and name-brand frozen pizza. Next week doesn’t have the time change or the other stuff, but I’m not looking forward to it. This COVID19 panic is getting all real n’ shit. We have been trying not to talk about it around Ethan because he can get a bit anxious and we don’t want him to worry. He knows the basics but he honestly doesn’t seem that interested. He’s seven. He has other things to think about. This morning, I was trying to rush him out to the car so I could…
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Chicken Tenders
The other night, we were having roast chicken for dinner. Matt went back to carve off some seconds. Ethan (age 7): Dad, are you cutting the off the chicken’s “tenders”? (“Tenders” is his word for the male genitalia, which he learned from the Kung Fu Panda Movies). Matt: Chickens don’t have “tenders”. Ethan: I eat chicken tenders all the time! Me (putting my hands in the air to make the “time out” gesture): Wait… wait… wait… this whole time you have been eating chicken tenders, you thought they were a chicken’s “tenders”? Ethan: Ye-ah! (Said in two syllables, like “Du-uh!”) Oy Vey. I blame Jack Black.
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Suburban Jungle
Ok guys, gotta warn you before you read on: there is grossness ahead! (Gross as in dead rats… nothing pervy.) We had a rough week for the wildlife in and around the house. Don’t panic; Wensley is fine! But we’ve had some other issues. It started with the rats, actually. I love backyard birding, but feeders attract rodents. That’s been an issue ever since I first moved in to the house and invested in my feeders. I don’t mind the squirrels, which I realize is basically a form of rodent racism. But they are cute and rats are not. So the squirrels can stay. The rats have to fuck off.…