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My Pioneer Stock (A Pioneer Day Re-post)
Ever since I left the Mormon Church to join the Church of Sleep-in on Sunday and go to Brunch, I have experienced a significant improvement in quality of life. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still love my Mormon ancestors. I am particularly proud of the Mormon women. The men did a lot of interesting stuff, and the polygamists are just wacky fun. But the women? The women could give birth in a back room with nothing for pain management but a stick between their teeth and not even wake up the other wives sleeping upstairs. And then they got up and washed the sheets. Those women were ballers.…
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Heavy Heavy Hangover
Heavy Heavy Hangover “What do you want for your birthday?” a friend asked. “Oh, I don’t deserve a present. Just give me a lump of coal in a brown paper sack. That will make it easier for you to hit me in the head with it.” My friend gave me a blank stare which he accented with thoughtful blinking. Finally he asked, “What the hell are you talking about?” “You know. That game you play when you’re a kid? ‘Heavy heavy hangover… thy poor head…’?” More blank staring and thoughtful blinking. So I explained the game. The birthday boy or girl would have to sit in a chair and everyone…