Resolve

It is the last day of January and most people have given up on their resolutions by now.  I’m still trying to settle on one.

I should just let it go. Or I should go with a version of a classic.  I’m certainly not beyond those. I need to lose the weight from my last two breakups, for instance.  I need to finish the projects that I have started around the house.  And 2016 would be a great year to finally get my book published.  That last one isn’t necessarily under my control (unless I self publish I guess), but still.  It would be a good goal.

For some reason, all of the sudden, I have lost patience with those kind of goals.  Not because I don’t want to accomplish them.  But I’m just tired of they way that they surface in my mind.  I’m bored of the judgement that is attached.  They come with a voice that says “How did you let this happen to your body?  You look like a marine mammal!  You are so lazy!  Get off your ass and go for a run!  Or paint the basement! Or send out ten more query letters today!  What are you doing with your life?!”

I’m not interested in hearing what that voice has to say right now.  Sure it would be nice to lose twenty pounds and feel like I’m making progress in more avenues in my life.  But I’m thriving in my job and I love my friends.  And frankly it’s January, The Worst Month of The Year™, and I feel like that is enough.  I left the house dozens of times this month.  What more could my bitchy little voice ask?

So, why not give up on the resolutions altogether? Surely I could skip it this year.

The thing is, the idea of making a resolution is fun.  Or at least, it used to be.  And it occurred to me that I am going about it all wrong. A friend posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that her resolution for 2016 was to avoid stools (as in backless chairs).  She hates stools, and she isn’t going to sit on any in 2016.  It made me laugh, because who doesn’t hate stools? And yet, it would never occur to me that I could take a stand (pun intended) and boycott them.

With that spirit, I have thought of a few banal goals for 2016.  Resolutions that I think I can keep.  Some may need a little explanation, so I’ll accompany them with the new voice I’m introducing to my goal driven thought processes.  She’s quite nice.  I like her so far.

1.) Listen to music (You never listen to music any more… why is that?  It’s all podcasts and NPR.  Which are fine and good for your brain, but so is music. Don’t you miss it? You don’t even sing in the shower any more!)

2.) Sing in the shower (That’s my girl!)

3.) Watch more cat videos on Youtube (Those always make you smile.  Why would you ever feel bad for taking time for that?)

4.) Drink lattes (Not everyday, but every once in a while.  You haven’t bought a latte since you signed on the house.  What if you got hit by a truck tomorrow and died with more than six dollars in your bank account?  How silly would you feel?)

There, that seems like a good start.  Wouldn’t want to make the list so long that I get overwhelmed!

There are still a few more hours of January.  I think I will (voluntarily) get off my ass and head out into the world.  I have a date with a latte and Pandora.  That is, after I sing a few Adele songs in the shower.

Wish me luck.

About Rachel Lewis

I am a writer, ceramic artist, knitter, and new stepparent. As a playwright, I had six short plays produced in showcases and festivals in Manhattan, Salt Lake City, and Austin. My full-length play, Locking Doors, was presented by Wordsmith Theatre Company in The New Lab Theatre (University of Utah) in 2005. I co-wrote a teleplay titled “Thank God I’m Atheist” which won the 2015 “No God But Funny” contest founded by the Center for Inquiry. My short nonfiction essay, “It’s Coming Down,” was published by the online literary magazine Halfway Down the Stairs. I currently work in pharmaceuticals professionally and write recreationally, but dream of making the transition to write professionally and do pharmaceuticals recreationally. I am a Utah native and live in Salt Lake City with my Yorkshire terrier, Wensleydale Doggiepants. I am working on a collection of humorous non-fiction essays and a second full-length play. Follow me at: rachelclewis.com @rachel_lewis_ut (Twitter) @rachel_lewis_ut (Instagram)

One response to “Resolve

  1. Gina

    I love this voice!

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