Humor
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My Year in Books
(Please note: This post contains affiliate links.) I had an epic reading year in 2019. I set a goal in Goodreads to read a book a month. I’m not a fast reader, but I do read a lot. Still I don’t usually set a reading goal so I wanted it to be attainable. I got a message half way through March that I had met my goal. I slowed down a little after the weather warmed up, but I still finished 30 books over the last twelve months. And so many of them were amazing, I need to recommend a few of my favorites here. I also got a bunch…
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He is Pretty Orange
Wensleydale got a shot at the vet this morning. When I brought him home I tried to make him a special treat by combining his two favorite things: peanut butter and carrots. Only something weird happened. Maybe I’m just watching too much political coverage these days, but do you see what I see? I swear, I cannot get away from that man! Wensleydale did not notice. He is now napping with his lobster, Pinchy. Meanwhile, the carrot is currently being impeached in Wensley’s stomach. He will convict sometime tomorrow.
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Does Your Christmas Need Some Krampus?
Mine did, but I didn’t know it! Not until I took a shortcut through a little neighborhood trying to avoid shopping traffic last weekend and saw this: Do you see it? One of these things is not like the others, right? What? The? Holy? Fuck?! It has plastic hands but that is fur of some kind. I took a friend by the next day in the rain and it looked even crazier when it was soaked. It reminds me of Ethan’s books on extinct Ice Age animals, so I’ve been calling it a sloth. But my friend Gina was like, “That’s a Krampus!” Neither is quite right. I’m just going…
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Thanksgiving Crafting
Growing up, Thanksgiving was spent with my large extended family and, while food was the main event, football was also central. If my uncles didn’t get into a fight about something (it’s not just drinking families that argue; Mormons do it, too), like which of them loved Ronald Reagan the most, then they would hunker down around TV and the children (and there were oodles of us) needed to stay quiet. If not quiet, then in the basement. Preferably both. One year we did a craft around the kitchen table while the menfolk watched football and talked politics. And I loved it! I couldn’t figure out while we weren’t doing…
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Witches Brew: Repost
I just learned a historical fact that blew my mind. Matt is reading a book on the dark ages right now, and he told me that there is a paragraph describing that from ancient times, beer was made almost exclusively by women. But in the 1500s, men decided that they wanted to take over beer making as careers and set about putting the brewers known as “alewives” out of business. So they called them witches and drove them out beer making. Here is a video that shows how the details we associate with witches, such as brooms and cats, directly came from the legacy of the alewives. So interesting! Makes…
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Chicken Tenders
The other night, we were having roast chicken for dinner. Matt went back to carve off some seconds. Ethan (age 7): Dad, are you cutting the off the chicken’s “tenders”? (“Tenders” is his word for the male genitalia, which he learned from the Kung Fu Panda Movies). Matt: Chickens don’t have “tenders”. Ethan: I eat chicken tenders all the time! Me (putting my hands in the air to make the “time out” gesture): Wait… wait… wait… this whole time you have been eating chicken tenders, you thought they were a chicken’s “tenders”? Ethan: Ye-ah! (Said in two syllables, like “Du-uh!”) Oy Vey. I blame Jack Black.
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Stepparent of the Year?
This is the kind of stepparent I am: Last summer, we went to a wedding for one of Matt’s cousins. Ethan, then six, looked dashing in his suit. We accepted that he would play in it and get it dirty, so there was only one problem: the clip on tie. Apparently the metal of the clip was touching his neck and irritating him. We made it as comfortable as possible but it’s not like we could loosen it. After the pictures were taken, I got an idea. I told him, “you know, if you clipped it to your back buckle loop, it wouldn’t touch your skin. And it would look…
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Suburban Jungle
Ok guys, gotta warn you before you read on: there is grossness ahead! (Gross as in dead rats… nothing pervy.) We had a rough week for the wildlife in and around the house. Don’t panic; Wensley is fine! But we’ve had some other issues. It started with the rats, actually. I love backyard birding, but feeders attract rodents. That’s been an issue ever since I first moved in to the house and invested in my feeders. I don’t mind the squirrels, which I realize is basically a form of rodent racism. But they are cute and rats are not. So the squirrels can stay. The rats have to fuck off.…
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My Pioneer Stock (A Pioneer Day Re-post)
NOTE: Sorry for the re-post, but I do love this one! Happy Pioneer Day or Pie & Beer Day! And if you do not celebrate either because you are a normal person, I hope you are having a great Wednesday! Ever since I left the Mormon Church to join the Church of Sleep-in on Sunday and go to Brunch, I have experienced a significant improvement in quality of life. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still love my Mormon ancestors. I am particularly proud of the Mormon women. The men did a lot of interesting stuff, and the polygamists are just wacky fun. But the women? The women could…
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Proof of Life
I had better luck today! I didn’t get as close as I would have liked because I didn’t want to scare him into the basement again. I feel confident that it is my same old owl because he has the same asymmetrical left “ear” tuft. It’s weird, but it really hurt my feelings when he hid from me the other day. It was a flashback to those early tween years when you realize that life isn’t like the movies; your crush doesn’t always (or ever) crush back. That’s the “crushing” part. I guess that’s why I love dogs so much.
