Does Your Christmas Need Some Krampus?

Mine did, but I didn’t know it! Not until I took a shortcut through a little neighborhood trying to avoid shopping traffic last weekend and saw this:

Do you see it?

One of these things is not like the others, right?

What? The? Holy? Fuck?!

It has plastic hands but that is fur of some kind. I took a friend by the next day in the rain and it looked even crazier when it was soaked.

It reminds me of Ethan’s books on extinct Ice Age animals, so I’ve been calling it a sloth.

But my friend Gina was like, “That’s a Krampus!”

Neither is quite right. I’m just going to call it the Christmas Beast and thank my lucky stars that I turned left on that street!

About Rachel Lewis

I am a writer, ceramic artist, knitter, and new stepparent. As a playwright, I had six short plays produced in showcases and festivals in Manhattan, Salt Lake City, and Austin. My full-length play, Locking Doors, was presented by Wordsmith Theatre Company in The New Lab Theatre (University of Utah) in 2005. I co-wrote a teleplay titled “Thank God I’m Atheist” which won the 2015 “No God But Funny” contest founded by the Center for Inquiry. My short nonfiction essay, “It’s Coming Down,” was published by the online literary magazine Halfway Down the Stairs. I currently work in pharmaceuticals professionally and write recreationally, but dream of making the transition to write professionally and do pharmaceuticals recreationally. I am a Utah native and live in Salt Lake City with my Yorkshire terrier, Wensleydale Doggiepants. I am working on a collection of humorous non-fiction essays and a second full-length play. Follow me at: rachelclewis.com @rachel_lewis_ut (Twitter) @rachel_lewis_ut (Instagram)

One response to “Does Your Christmas Need Some Krampus?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: