Spoiler Alert

I just heard this story on an NPR podcast about a pair of Russian researchers who got in a fight in Antarctica. Apparently, they had spent way too much time together in their cramped quarters, and one of them thought it was funny to ruin the endings of the limited number of books available on the research site to pass the time.  The other guy didn’t think it was funny, and stabbed the spoiler in the chest.  Vodka was involved.

Do you ever hear a story about a crime and get a little chill because you realize that, under a very specific set of circumstances, you could be driven to violence, and even murder?  Yeah… well… Antarctica, vodka, & confined spaces?  Those are some extreme circumstances.  A book spoiler would be like match in a gas can.  In his place, I totally would have stabbed that bitch and then launched into a parka clad rendition of the Cell Block Tango as they hauled me back to Saint Petersburg.

By the way, the “victim” didn’t die.  He was transported to a hospital in Chile for treatment.  Hopefully, while he is there, he can get some rehab for his dickishness as well.

About Rachel Lewis

I am a writer, ceramic artist, knitter, and new stepparent. As a playwright, I had six short plays produced in showcases and festivals in Manhattan, Salt Lake City, and Austin. My full-length play, Locking Doors, was presented by Wordsmith Theatre Company in The New Lab Theatre (University of Utah) in 2005. I co-wrote a teleplay titled “Thank God I’m Atheist” which won the 2015 “No God But Funny” contest founded by the Center for Inquiry. My short nonfiction essay, “It’s Coming Down,” was published by the online literary magazine Halfway Down the Stairs. I currently work in pharmaceuticals professionally and write recreationally, but dream of making the transition to write professionally and do pharmaceuticals recreationally. I am a Utah native and live in Salt Lake City with my Yorkshire terrier, Wensleydale Doggiepants. I am working on a collection of humorous non-fiction essays and a second full-length play. Follow me at: rachelclewis.com @rachel_lewis_ut (Twitter) @rachel_lewis_ut (Instagram)

One response to “Spoiler Alert

  1. gina weaver

    Preeee cisely. When Ursula and I fought, we were in much the same situation. I kept thinking to myself, but you’re passive, but you’re a pacifist! In all fairness, she had a brain tumor that turned her in to a fucking dickhead

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