Spoiler Alert

I just heard this story on an NPR podcast about a pair of Russian researchers who got in a fight in Antarctica. Apparently, they had spent way too much time together in their cramped quarters, and one of them thought it was funny to ruin the endings of the limited number of books available on the research site to pass the time.  The other guy didn’t think it was funny, and stabbed the spoiler in the chest.  Vodka was involved.

Do you ever hear a story about a crime and get a little chill because you realize that, under a very specific set of circumstances, you could be driven to violence, and even murder?  Yeah… well… Antarctica, vodka, & confined spaces?  Those are some extreme circumstances.  A book spoiler would be like match in a gas can.  In his place, I totally would have stabbed that bitch and then launched into a parka clad rendition of the Cell Block Tango as they hauled me back to Saint Petersburg.

By the way, the “victim” didn’t die.  He was transported to a hospital in Chile for treatment.  Hopefully, while he is there, he can get some rehab for his dickishness as well.

Welcome! I’m a middle-aged former Mormon (aka the “other FOMO”), essayist, and playwright living in Salt Lake City. I work in pharmaceuticals professionally and write recreationally—though I’m open to reversing that someday. On Life and Lemons is where I share humorous snippets about writing, addiction, recovery, relationships, mental health, and whatever else life tosses in the blender. If you enjoy dark humor with a twist of lemon-tart snark—or just need proof that your own life isn’t the only one held together by twist ties and good intentions—you’re in the right place. You can follow me and get updates on the release of my new essay collection at instagram.com/pieces_of_string/. 🍋 Subscribe and let’s overthink things together.

One Comment

  • gina weaver

    Preeee cisely. When Ursula and I fought, we were in much the same situation. I kept thinking to myself, but you’re passive, but you’re a pacifist! In all fairness, she had a brain tumor that turned her in to a fucking dickhead

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