Happy Halloween
My dog has a condition that makes his trachea collapse when he gets excited. Like… Say… When the mailman comes. Probably to murder us. All dogs know that mailmen are evil and have a freak out but mine does that and then spends fifteen minutes trying to get air back in his lungs without sounding like a Harley Davidson.
Once or twice a day, no biggie. Halloween? Nightmare on Elm Street. (There are a lot of elm trees on my street, but that’s not really what it’s called.)
So I’m opting out. I feel badly about it. Sort of. But this is what I’m doing this year. Candy is candy, right? Getting me to open the door is the least fun part.
Rachel Lewis
Welcome! I’m a middle-aged former Mormon (aka the “other FOMO”), essayist, and playwright living in Salt Lake City. I work in pharmaceuticals professionally and write recreationally—though I’m open to reversing that someday. On Life and Lemons is where I share humorous snippets about writing, addiction, recovery, relationships, mental health, and whatever else life tosses in the blender. If you enjoy dark humor with a twist of lemon-tart snark—or just need proof that your own life isn’t the only one held together by twist ties and good intentions—you’re in the right place. You can follow me and get updates on the release of my new essay collection at instagram.com/pieces_of_string/. 🍋 Subscribe and let’s overthink things together.
2 Comments
Stef
So, did you have any candy left?
mslewisinfers
Nope. They didn’t take the bowl, though.