Low Altitude Turbulence

Yesterday, I ran an errand on my lunch break. I walked out of a store in Sugarhouse (a neighborhood here in Salt Lake City) and stopped short. Right in front of the sliding glass doors of the Nordstrom Rack, the chassis of a Honda Pilot was balanced on a large boulder with three of the SUV’s wheels off the ground. I stared at it for a beat, trying to understand what I was looking at.

I must have just missed the cool stunt, because I could hear the man in the driver’s seat (way up in the air!) talking to roadside assistance. Because, for real. No getting out of that one on your own. After staring at it for a while, I decided that the SUV—which was undoubtedly going too fast for a crowded parking lot—must have jumped the curb and hit the boulder. Then, as the boulder rolled off the other side, it pulled the still-moving SUV on top of it, lifting that back wheel into the air, and creating the greatest high center that was ever centered on high. Not what I usually picture when I think of the phrase, “Pilot error.”

[*static noise*] Sir, [*static noise*] you are NOT cleared for takeoff. [*static noise*]

Then I remembered something my husband said last weekend. We were looking for a parking space and thought we found one, but upon closer inspection, the adjacent car was over the line and we weren’t going to fit comfortably. Matt said, “Well, they crapped parkily! Oh… I meant…they parked…” But I was already laughing and he quickly joined in.

Which is why, when I saw this spectacle, I had to get a picture. I walked to my car to set down my shopping bag as I mentally composed the text that would accompany the photo. “Look! Another person who craps like park!” Or similar.

I stepped in front of my car to take the photo. I wanted to get closer but I didn’t want to be too obvious about it. It didn’t matter. The driver saw me with my phone out and was very upset about what I was doing. (If you zoom in, you can see the WTF gesture he is making with the back of his right hand.) He called me a “fucking bitch” and a few other things. I wasn’t deterred. I took the photo and laughed all the way home. Then I sent it to Matt.

After a while, I started to think about another time, years ago, when a man yelled at me in public. I spent the rest of the day shaking, tearful, and burning with shame. Maybe it is my Mormon girlhood and the way that “respect for the priesthood” was relentlessly drilled into my being. It has given men this unquestionable “authority figure” status that I haven’t been able to shake, despite the evolution of my beliefs. But this encounter didn’t even bother me. The fact that he was up in the air, calling me a bitch while he waited for AAA to rescue him, just made the entire thing go from funny to hilarious.

Earlier this year, I read The Courage to be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. The book is set up as a long conversation between a philosopher and a young man who are exploring psychologist Alfred Adler’s writing as they try to get to the bottom of why we are all so miserable. They explore a number of ideas, but the main one is that most of our unhappiness comes from worrying about what other people think and chasing their approval like it’s oxygen. The philosopher helps the young man to see he is not doomed by his past or defined by his trauma. We could all be happier if we owned our actions, made contributions without seeking external validation, and found meaning in the way we show up for ourselves and our community. In short: life gets a lot lighter when you stop trying to be everyone’s favorite person.

I wrote a post here in December lamenting the fact that I still care too much about what everyone else thinks and not knowing how I could let that shit go. Which I am still working on, of course. But in this one encounter, someone threw shit at me, and I didn’t pick it up and add it to my already burdensome collection. And it felt great! If that is what it means to be a “fucking bitch,” well, damn! Where can I get my membership card?

I do feel bad for the guy, though. If he is going to do something that stupid and be completely unable to laugh at himself, he is in for a long journey (and a rough landing). I do have a book recommendation for him, however, if he is ever interested.