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Shabby Chic
Wensley had to get a haircut last week. I try to avoid cutting his hair in January and February because it is so dang cold, and he doesn’t deal well with the snow. It couldn’t wait, however. He was getting a bit of a Rastafarian situation on his back end, and it was time. I brought him home from the groomer and dug through the winter accessories to dig out his sweater. I knitted this for him a few years ago. (There is no pattern to share; I just knitted a rectangle and fashioned it around his body and then sewed it up.) Unfortunately, when I pulled it over his…
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Don’t Blame the Baby
I was having lunch with my girlfriends, most of whom are mothers. Someone ventured down a urinary tract of conversation (insert comedy drum sound here). “Obviously, I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything, but…” This is, of course, the phrase that launched a million bitches. All totally valid, I’m sure. Children are tyrants. But she went on to say that she was walking uphill when someone or something made her laugh and she “like… peed. Just a little! But, yeah.” The other mothers in the group shared their own similar stories. In addition to funny hills, there are other situations that my friends admitted to avoiding. Squats, lunges, anything that…
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Downy Woodpecker
This is a woodpecker in my front yard. That is all.
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Christmas Bites
At some point in the week, a truck (I assume?) came through the neighborhood and collected the discarded Christmas trees. I didn’t see it happen. One day I saw the trees lying in the gutter, a corpse in front of every home, and I thought of the Monte Python line, “bring out your dead!” Then the next afternoon they were gone. One final Christmas magic trick. My holidays were a whirlwind. As a new step parent, I am learning that Christmas with a child is much more fun, but so much more work! It is possible that we over-do it. The kids don’t need the dozens of elaborate recipes executed…
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Timeless
The weird thing about not having had children is that I don’t have a very accurate sense of the passing of time. I just bumped into a friend and I asked how his baby was doing. Apparently his baby is playing lacrosse, now. Which is funny to picture. “Didn’t I just come to the baby shower?” I think. And realize that if by “just” I mean twelve years ago, then yes. I “just” did that. You would think this would make me panic, but instead the thought that occurred to me was, “It’s so crazy how everyone around me is aging and I’m not.” If only.
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Nailed It
I don’t wanna brag, but I can play Rachmaninov on a wrapping paper.
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Thanksgiving Needs More Birds
I grew up in a crafty family. I think that is related to the fact that I was raised in the Mormon Church (I know they just made up that new rule that you aren’t supposed to say “Mormon” anymore; they want you to say the whole Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But it takes too long and I’m too old to make a change like that. Besides, I left the church. Stop trying to tell me what to do!), but I also recognize that Mormons aren’t the only craft people. There are tons of people on Pinterest and they can’t all be Mormon. Do the Amish…
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Good & Mad
The day after the election, I learned an important lesson. Actually, I learned two important lessons. The first is this: When you are raking leaves and you find a fun sized pouch of M&Ms that some hapless trick-or-treater lost in the chaos, do not say “Yahtzee!” and eat them. In the week since they fell, they have been reclaimed by the earth and are no longer safe for human consumption. The second lesson, unfortunately, left an even fouler after taste. I was at Staples getting some copies made. (Side note, if you sometimes wish you worked from home and not in an office setting, think about all the free copies…
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The Tiny Professor
Matt found this package of colorful cauliflower in Ethan’s backpack when he came home from school. “What is this? A snack you are saving?” he asked. “No, no! I can’t eat that! It’s for my research!” Ethan is six. “You mean it’s for homework?” I asked. “What are you supposed to do with it.” “No, not homework,” he said. “I’m researching them.” We were stumped. “What are you researching?” Matt asked. “I want to know how they grew like that, that’s all.” We put the package in the fridge after that. I’m not sure what experiment he has planned but it’s the best excuse a 1st grader has used to…
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But What Would the Logo Look Like?
I had a dream that I was the owner/operator of a canoe rental shop named “Row vs Wade,” because even my subconscious loves puns. I woke up laughing but also knowing it wouldn’t work. For one thing, I live in Utah, which is a desert for both water and pro choice liberals. The bigger problem is that we also suffer from a lack of a sense of humor, so I guess I won’t rush out and license my brand… yet. It would be a good fit in Seattle. Or Austin. Maybe I should look into that license… just in case this career in pharmaceuticals doesn’t pan out.