Before I get to the pottery, I’ve got an unrelated but quick Murphy story. We were hiking in Canada a few weeks ago and Murph was having a blast. There weren’t any other people on the trail so I let him off leash to explore a bit.
That actually slowed me down because I had him on my running leash which goes around my waist and he was pulling me up the trail. Also I stopped a few times to take photos of the wild flowers. I am an always trailing on hikes because I’m so much shorter than Matt and because Ethan has his 12-year-old energy driving him. This time, however, Matt was getting exasperated because we were in bear country and he was carrying the bear spray. “We have to stay together!” He reminded me a few times.
I stopped taking pictures and tried to lengthen my strides but I was still lagging. Then Murphy did something he has never done before. He ran back to me, spun, and stopped on the trail before my feet, presenting his back in a “leash me up!” invitation. I would have been confused but I swear I read his mind in that moment. He was thinking, “the alpha will see me collect the slow-poke beta and he’ll be so impressed! Maybe I’ll get promoted to beta!”
What. A. Backstabbing. Little. Jerk.
Okay, let’s talk pots!
Last year, I spent hours and hours on a birdbath that was inspired by something I saw at my neighborhood backyard birding store. They were koi fish carved in stone and I thought they were so beautiful. And expensive. Appropriately expensive; they were gorgeous! But out of my reach.
I decided to try to get a similar effect with clay. I threw a large shallow bowl and I used a mold to create tiny fish.
I was really happy with it, but I made a mistake. I forgot to cut it off the bat (wheel thrown pottery thing) and when it dried it cracked.
Damn, it was so sad. It took me so long to make and place all those tiny fish! I decided to try to save it and that is when the real work began. I filled in the crack with slip and bisque fix (magic pottery glue that has saved my pots many times before). Then that would dry and the crack would reappear so I did it again. And again. It took weeks and so many applications to get it even and to hide the cracks. Then I bisqued it, which is the step before glazing. I fully expected it to snap in half in the kiln. Part of me would have been relieved because then I could give up on it, but it survived. To glaze it, I covered each fish in tape and poured in a blue glaze for the water. Then I removed the tape and painted each one individually.
You can probably guess what happened next, but yeah… I fired it again and the crack was back. It went all the way through the bowl, so it was useless. So many hours of sunk cost drove me to sink in countless more, all for nothing.
Worse than nothing, actually. I took it home from the studio to show Matt. He reached in to touch the crack and cut his finger on it. He yelped and blood dripped down onto the bowl. I so was horrified that I grabbed it, ran outside and threw it into the trash where it finally snapped in half.
I’ve done this many times in my life. I don’t want to give up on something that I’ve invested time and soul into, even when it is clear as a pristine koi pond that it is hopeless. Then, eventually… finally… something snaps and I have no choice but to let go.
And then, the very next time I went to the birding store, the stone birdbaths were 50% off! I bought one on the spot and nearly killed myself getting in in my car and then into my backyard. It’s so beautiful; I can’t believe it is mine.
Sometimes it is hard to know when you are fighting the good fight like Winston Churchill and when you are just fighting because you are stubborn and delusional like Don Quixote. Maybe it is impossible to know. Maybe you just fight hard and if it all goes to hell anyway, give yourself some grace and trust that letting go will make space for something better to move into that void in your life.
Like new pots!
I created a new koi bowl with bigger fish. It was less work, to be honest. But I think it’s easier to see the details.
I did a smaller one using an octopus mold.
I also just finished a few vases, which I haven’t thrown in a long time. They turned out the best of the batch, I think.
The texture on the last one I created with a drill bit that I used like a stamp. I love how it turned out! I think I’m going to try to make something similar – the same texture and same glaze – but bigger. Then I will put my wooden spoons and spatulas in it and keep it on the kitchen counter. That’s the plan, anyway.
Wish me luck!