I went to Seattle for a few days to visit my sister Andrea and meet my brand new nephew who arrived too soon – at just 25 weeks – over the New Year’s weekend. I flew up to help out while her hubby was traveling for work. Mostly I went to give my five year old nephew some attention. Also I talked Andrea’s ear off. (I really need to call her more.) I also cooked a little. I loaded the dishwasher once. I barely helped at all, truth be told. I always think I’ll be more helpful when I’m projecting the future in my mind then when I get into the future and see what reality allows.
Still it was a great trip. Frog (my new nephew’s nickname) is so tiny! Just 2.7 lbs when I left, but growing a bit every day. I was watching him fight against his breathing mask and squirming to get his arms and legs free of the swaddling wraps and I was amazed. He is so little and he looks so fragile – like a pink baby bird that fell from a nest – but he is fierce! He can lift his head already, and he can voice his displeasure. It made me happy. I don’t want him to wear himself out, but I can’t describe the joy I felt watching him fight. I’ve been so worried about this kiddo for weeks but now that I’ve seen him, I’m reassured. He is a warrior and he is firmly in this world.
My other nephew, the kindergartner, is really struggling with the changes. He seems angry. He’s not listening or asking for things with politeness or patience. He is demanding things with a force that suggests his wants and needs are consuming him. I’m not sure he gets what is wrong exactly, but there is a level on which he is aware. He even commented on the fact that there are suddenly a number of photos of his brother on his mom’s phone. “Why are there so many pictures of Frog on here?” he asked like a jealous boyfriend. Like, “Who is this guy and what does he mean to you?”
Oof. Just wait until the little one actually gets sprung from the NICU and comes home! Then the real pain will begin.
On one hand my heart is breaking for him because it is hard to see him hurting. But on the other hand, the one where I’m looking at it from the perspective of a second sibling, I’m less sympathetic. “What? You don’t get to have your parents all to yourself? What would that be like?” [insert eye roll]
I’m told that when I came home from the hospital my older sister tried to smother me with a diaper. She was wearing it at the time, just so you understand.
He is such a sweet kid and I believe he will be fine once he has had time – lots of time – to adjust. He’s so funny. I’m not sure how to describe him except to say that he has a dynamic inner life. He is so imaginative and precocious. He spent one entire day of my visit dressed as Yoda. Not for any special occasion. He just loves Yoda. When I arrived he presented me with a drawing he did for me at school. It’s a portrait of me. “What’s this red part?” I asked.
“It’s a bloody thumb.”
“Of course it is, kiddo. Of course it is.”
What I wouldn’t give to spend some time in that kid’s head. Frog is going to have the best playmate in the world. Maybe not soon, you know. But in a little while.